Information Related to "How Can You Get Along With Brothers and Sisters?"
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"You name it, we fight about it," said
14-year-old Jeff. He was responding to a question from Nancy Samalin,
a counselor and family life expert (Loving Each One Best, 1996, p. 147).
Amanda, also 14, answered this way: "Lately, we don't fight very much. But one of my sisters doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut. We have different opinions on different subjects and different personalities."
Edward, 13, summed up his feelings about having brothers and sisters this way: "Ninety-nine percent of the time it is extremely annoying, but sometimes it can be quite useful" (p. 145).
All of the things that can go wrong in friendships can be compounded in
the bond between brothers and sisters: different opinions and attitudes,
feelings of unfairness and not being respected, jealousy and revenge. Added
to this list is the fact that while you can pick your friends, you had
no choice about your brothers or sisters or stepbrothers or stepsisters.
Whether they are younger or older or your twin, your siblings can be a
major challenge. What can you do to improve the situation?
Those of us who have had troubles with brothers and sisters are not alone. Even the Bible is filled with lots of troubled families. Think about the first two brothers—Cain killed his brother Abel out of jealousy! Jacob tricked his twin brother Esau out of his inheritance. Rachel and Leah were in not-so-friendly competition with each other.
Then there was Joseph, his father's favorite and hated by his brothers. It even seems he showed off, with that special colorful coat and the dreams he told them about that showed Joseph coming out on top. But his older brothers got back at him but good! He ended up spending 13 years as a slave and prisoner.
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