Information Related to "When a Friend Lets You Down"
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What can you do when your friend blabs your secret all over school, ditches you at lunch when the cool crowd asks him to sit with them, doesn't follow through on a promise, excludes you from her social plans, badmouths you behind your back, teases you about something you're really sensitive about or forgets plans she made with you or cancels at the last minute?
When these kinds of things happen, you can feel hurt, confused, upset
and really sad. This friend who has always meant a lot to you has now let
you down in a big way. You want to keep the friendship going, but you don't
like how you were treated either. So how should you respond?
Here are some suggestions, based on the Bible as well as the advice of professional counselors:
The number-one thing you should do is talk to your friend about what's bothering you. This is what we're told to do in Matthew 18:15: "Moreover if your brother [or sister or friend] sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone."
Don't just go up to your friend when you see her in the hallway at school and start unloading on her. She may be rushing off to class, and other students may be within earshot. Talk somewhere that's private, not in public where either of you may feel self-conscious.
Start by telling your friend that you really value your friendship and that you care about her, which is why you wanted to meet with her. Then you can get into what she did that upset you.
Talk from your own point of view by making "I" statements: "I don't think you realize how your joke came across," or "I felt terrible when you canceled plans." Avoid making "You" statements, which sound accusatory, and harsh generalizations like "You never think about anyone but yourself!"
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