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The American divorce rate today hovers at about 50 percent. It's not much better in other industrialized countries, many of which have divorce rates of around 40 percent.
If that weren't bad enough, almost 40 percent of births in the United States are children born out of wedlock. To add monetary insult to moral injury, these unwed mothers are costing U.S. taxpayers a staggering $112 billion a year in welfare, health care, education, criminal justice, other federal, state and local government programs and lost tax revenue, according to an April 15, 2008, Associated Press report.
Clearly marriage and family-the basic building blocks of a civilized, moral, functional society-are in trouble.
Times have changed. So have our values. This all seems so normal to most affluent societies, yet divorce and family breakdown damage not only the couple, but also children, relatives and friends. Given both time and pressures from all directions, the divorce rate may rise even higher, and families might well become even more fragmented.
Obviously marriage and the family are in trouble. But why? Where and how did it start?
It helps to understand how courtship and marriage have evolved. Up until about a century ago, courtship was expected to lead to a marriage that produced children to provide enough labor to help the family succeed. Times were tough, and many hands were needed to provide security and sustenance.
In the early 20th century, courtship formalized and focused more on romantic love than filling the needs of security and companionship. Parents still controlled the courtship environment, often requiring their sons and daughters to court in the parlor while they listened in an adjacent room.
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