Information Related to "The Missing Father"
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While reading this issue's lead article—"Where Have All the Fathers Gone?"—I was reminded of a poignant story of a child whose father was gone when he was born, circumstances having put him in a position where he would not be with his family for an unspecified time.
Growing up, the child discovered his father was somewhat of a "mystery man." Everyone seemed to know at least something about him. Many often spoke of him, and no one lacked an opinion about him! Yet, since he had never known him, the child's perception of his father was shaped only by the views of others.
As commonly happens, the famous tend to both attract false friends and create real enemies, and both groups tend to distort their stories.
Depending on the source, the child could hear that his dad was a soft old teddy bear or a tough old grouch. Some claimed he was the greatest; others dismissed him as cold, uncaring. Mild critics grumbled that someone with his clout should have done a lot more for everyone; the harshest pointed accusing fingers, blaming him for nearly everything that went wrong.
Sometimes the boy even heard his dad's name cursed. The cruelest rumor whispered around, though, was that his dad was dead.
Even people who said they worked for him gave mixed messages. Some said he set standards so high no one could possibly reach them, but still, you'd better not step out of line. Others seemed relieved he was gone and set about doing things in the business however they wanted.
All things considered, the child was at once fascinated, mystified and conflicted by everything he heard about this person who seemed to be larger than life, yet personally unknown.
Then, years later, he stumbled upon an unread bundle of letters from his dad. In utter amazement he unfolded page after page of stories about things his father had done, his feelings about his family, his hopes and plans, what they would do when he came back, what he had been through, even descriptions about what he was really like. It was as though he had sensed what people would say and wanted to reassure his child how he really was and what had really happened.
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