Information Related to "Letters From Our Readers - Sep/Oct 2005"
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"Marital Happiness: The Choice Is Up to You!"
Thank you for your commonsense articles on marriage in the last issue of The Good News. These days marriage is all too often approached with the attitude of getting what one wants, or the expectation that the "right" partner will automatically make one happy. The article shows that when two people do not always see eye to eye (and what two people do always agree?) they can choose to accept the other as he or she is. Naturally there are cases where this may not be enough, but if both partners are truly willing to submit to each other, that can surely make a difference.
Reader from Hertfordshire, England
I enjoy receiving your magazine. In fact I requested it so that my children might have an opportunity to read a periodical that covers issues and world topics according to a scriptural perspective. However, I would like to mention a problem I have with the article "Marital Happiness: The Choice Is Up to You." Sometimes it's not up to you. My husband professes to be a Christian, yet outside of the church he is a liar, a cheat and an adulterer—the list goes on ad infinitum.
I have tried to talk to him about this. I have begged him to go to counseling. I have gone to counseling on my own and have visited two different staff members of my church. I pray for him and our marriage, yet he refuses to change. So you see, it is not my choice. If I choose to stay in my marriage and work on it and pray for it, it is still a one-sided effort. I believe your article should have covered that scenario.
Reader from the Southern United States
We are saddened to hear of the personal plight of this reader and any others in such a situation. Making a marriage work of course depends on both partners. One partner flagrantly violating the marriage covenant may destroy a marriage through no fault of the hurt partner, and we did not intend to imply otherwise. Our general-advice articles addressing social problems like marital difficulties cannot cover all situations, including those that may be perilously close to the point of no return and are desperately in need of professional help and expertise.
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