Information Related to "How to Say No (Without Losing Your Friends)"
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Saying No Without Offending Others
Saying No Without Losing Friends
You Can Say No and Keep Your Friends
Sometimes if you don't say no you can end up hurting yourself. The challenge is
in learning to say no without offending others and losing friends.
by Graemme Marshall
How often do you find yourself faced
with a situation where you know you should say no, and you may even want to, but
you don't because of what others may think? For many of us, such situations happen
all too often. So how do we deal with them? How do we keep from acting against our
better judgment?
The difficulty often lies in our not wanting others to think badly of us, so we find
it hard to say no. Yet, if we refuse to say no, we can end up getting in trouble
or hurting ourselves or others. We could even end up breaking the law of God.
If you find yourself taken advantage of because you can't bring yourself to utter
a polite but firm no, consider some of the excuses you've probably heard:
ï "I knew he was driving too fast, but my friends were in a hurry."
ï "I knew it was illegal to drink, but the others wanted to."
ï "I didn't agree with the group, but I didn't want to stand out as different."
ï "I shouldn't have given in, but everyone else was doing it."
Situations like these often place us in compromising positions with our beliefs and
standards, family rules or desires. But it is possible to come up with reasonable
and friendly ways of saying no. The next time you're faced with the dilemma of knowing
you should say no, consider some of the following.
Go by the Rules.
Make your refusal impersonal. This helps counter the problem of being pressured into
doing something you know you shouldn't do, whether you're at school or with friends.
When faced with invitations to do things you know you shouldn't--smoke, try drugs
or drink alcohol illegally, cheat or engage in illicit activity--explain that your
family members agree to follow specific rules so the answer has to be no. This may
be hard at first, but you'll find your friends will respect you more when you take
a moral stand.
Going by the rules can also help when you're faced with people who drive dangerously,
drink illegally or too much, or otherwise exert an unwanted influence over you.
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