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A word not spoken may be the choicest word of all.
by Becky Sweat
onna had dragged me through every store in the mall at least twice. I was tired and had long since been ready to go home. So, when she showed me the new outfit she'd picked out, I decided to tell her exactly what I thought.
"You're just trying to get attention from the new guy in the office," I told her. "But it won't work. He likes women who are pencil-thin. You won't have a chance with him unless you lose 20 pounds."
Donna's eyes filled with tears. I wanted to reach out and pull back my words. Although my little speech may have been true, I was entirely wrong in saying what I did, because it was cruel.
Most of us at one time or other have blurted out words we wish we could take back. Numerous situations could be improved not so much by what we say, but by what we don't say.
Questions to consider
Here are five questions you should ask yourself before you open your mouth to speak:
Too often we let our emotions take over and speak out of anger or frustration. When my friend Connie grew suddenly distant after years of a close friendship, I tried to get her to talk.
After several failed attempts at getting her to open up, I became frustrated with the situation. Connie was no longer the fun, happy friend I wanted her to be. I decided to write her a letter and tell her how disappointed I was in her. Then, I don't know why exactly, I put the letter aside.
Not many days later Connie called me.
"I was wondering if you'd like to go out for lunch this afternoon?" she asked. "I've been under a lot of pressure lately at work, but I think things are finally getting back to normal."
Connie needed her friends to be patient with her. If I had sent her that letter and let her know how upset I was with her, it would have only added pressure to her already stressful situation and may have hurt our friendship.
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