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We all want to be there for grieving friends. Having the heart to make the right choice - and knowing practical things to do - can enable us to help our friends through their darkest moments.
by Andrea West
e all want to be there for grieving friends. Having the heart
to make the right choice-and knowing practical things to do-can
enable us to help our friends through their darkest moments.
My husband, Roger, and I rejoiced when the announcement was made that the Ryans' baby was born. We had a young family of our own, and I was happy to help Mary with the problems she was experiencing with breast-feeding. We gladly traveled the hour-long drive through a winter storm to offer our tips on the care and feeding of a newborn. The time we spent together really bonded us with the Ryans.
Then, several months later, we received tragic news. The baby had contracted an illness and died. I had never experienced the loss of a family member. To that time, this was the closest I had ever been to facing death. I didn't think I could possibly attend the funeral.
How could I cope with my emotions and fear of death, especially the untimely death of an innocent child? My husband had been visiting Church members until midnight the night before, so we decided it wouldn't matter if we weren't there.
We were saddened when one of the family members told us what the Ryans had mentioned before the funeral: "We know for sure that the Wests will be at the funeral, even if no one else comes." The Ryans had an understandably hard time with their baby's death. Over time we lost contact with them.
We weren't there for the Ryans at a time when they needed us. We had allowed our own emotions, fears and needs to get in the way of reaching out to them. But the realization that we had disappointed our friends in their time of need softened our hearts. We began to realize how important it is to be there for those who suffer loss.
Perhaps that's why the church in Kentucky we served for eight years made such an impact on us. The members there continue to set an outstanding example of heartfelt support for grieving families (James 1:27). Upon news of a death, people immediately respond with food and other physical help. What is more, they give of themselves.
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Table of Contents that includes "A Heart of Flesh"
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