Discipline with encouragement may seem like an oxymoron. How could discipline
possibly be encouraging? Isn't it always painful and depressing? The answer
is no, discipline need not always be that way. Here's why.
Punishment and discipline are not synonyms, as many assume. Discipline
is simply training that corrects, shapes or perfects one's moral character
or mental faculties. While discipline includes punishment, punishment
is only one of several disciplinary tools that parents may use in training
their children. Further, discipline can include both encouraging and corrective
elements. Here are some encouraging things parents can do to discipline
their younger children:
Preactivity reminders. Before an event, talk to your
child about the behavior you expect. For example, say, "When we go to
visit Mrs. Smith, I want you to say, 'Hi, Mrs. Smith. Thank you for inviting
me to your home.'"
Preactivity affirmation. After explaining the behavior
you expect, have your child say, "Yes, Mommy," or "Okay, Daddy." Verbal
affirmations help your child solidify in his or her mind the actions he
or she will display.
Preactivity modeling. Have your child practice what
he or she will say or do before the activity. Again, this helps prepare
a child for the behavior expected.
Postactivity praise. We all appreciate praise when
we do a good job. Our children generally also respond well to praise and
are influenced to future obedience when they receive this kind of encouragement.
Appropriate touch. Praise coupled with an affectionate
pat or hug is also highly motivating to our children.
